Monthly Archives: May 2019

Considering the Cinema Movie Review: Aladdin (2019)

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By Jason Pyles

Written Movie Review: Aladdin 2019

Just a quick, random note about this side-by-side artwork comparison: I was going to comment on this on Twitter, but I honestly didn’t have the energy. (Besides, Adam Frazier @AdamFrazier on Twitter, ended up doing it for me.) What can be said, really? Studios continually try to ride the wave of other successful films by emulating and imitating their poster art — down to every little detail, even color scheme — trying everything they can to strike gold again. It’s really a non-story, but I must admit that I noticed it instantly when I first saw this “Aladdin” poster art.

By way of preface, my family revisited the original, animated “Aladdin” from (1992) — on VHS, no less — just two days before seeing the new live-action version. And I should also mention up front that I have been a Will Smith fan since about 1988, even before his TV show, because I bought his cassette tape of “He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper.” I’ve been supporting Will Smith (as much as possible) ever since, though “After Earth” even pushed my limits.

Having said all of the above, following in the footsteps of Robin Williams to reprise this genie role is a thankless and futile endeavor. Will Smith does a fine job as the genie, don’t get me wrong, but nobody’s going to give him much credit, regardless of how good his performance is. The world would never let anyone top Robin Williams’ genie performance, especially now that he’s gone and under such tragic circumstances. It would be like remaking “Citizen Kane.” It’s a fool’s errand. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Perfection (2019)

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By Jay of the Dead

Written Movie Review: The Perfection

There’s a wild little Horror flick that released on Netflix on May 24, 2019. I got up early and watched it that same morning before going to work. It was getting a lot of buzz, and I agree with what everyone says: Watch it before someone spoils it for you.

Rest assured, I will not spoil “The Perfection” for you, so you can feel completely at ease to finish reading this review, spoiler-free.

“The Perfection” stars Allison Williams (the girlfriend in “Get Out”) as Charlotte, a cellist who took a several-year sabbatical away from her blossoming career, in order to help care for her terminally ill mother. As the film opens, we are at the end of her mother’s life, so Charlotte is ready to return to her elite music conservatory, where another fantastic cellist, Elizabeth (Logan Browning), has stepped into Charlotte’s shoes. At this point in the film, only a few minutes in, we can tell two things: Charlotte obviously feels despondent about the detour her life has taken, and it seems that Elizabeth has taken her rightful place and perhaps all her opportunities.

And that is absolutely all I can reveal about the plot of “The Perfection.” The reason I can’t tell you more is “The Perfection” is full of surprises, twists and turns. It is the type of film that redefines itself as it unfolds, thereby redefining our expectations and conclusions about what it is or what it will become. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: Brightburn (2019)

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By Jay of the Dead

Written Movie Review: Brightburn

“It may sound absurd, but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
Well, it’s all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy
Or anything.”
— Superman (It’s Not Easy) by Five for Fighting

I’ve thought about it many times before. Everyone has. What would we do if Superman went on a rampage — and I don’t mean flicking peanuts at whiskey bottles? We’d all be screwed. Sure, Superman’s one weakness is Kryptonite, but who has that lying around? And even if you had some, how would you ever “use it on him”? I mean, Lex Luther is an evil super-genius, and even he’s had trouble applying the ill effects of the glowing green crystals to the Man of Steel.

“Brightburn” has a great premise for a Horror movie. And since we’re in the midst of a tidal wave of superhero movies, I suppose a movie like “Brightburn” was inevitable. In fact, the cinema has been shifting this direction for some time now with all its anti-heroes, super villains and straight-up monsters: “The Punisher,” “Hellboy,” “Watchmen,” “Deadpool,” “Split” and “Glass,” “Suicide Squad,” “Venom,” “Brightburn,” coming soon “Dark Phoenix,” and in October, “Joker.”

Now with movies like “Split,” “Venom,” “Brightburn,” and “Joker,” we have two phenomena that we really haven’t seen very much previously: An evil super villain’s stand-alone origin story, and a comfortable slide down into the darkness of the Horror genre. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Hunted (2013)

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By Jay of the Dead

Written Movie Review: The Hunted 2013

When a film opens with the phrase, “Based on Actual Events” or something of the like, you can usually dismiss it altogether. We’ve learned over the decades that this typically means there is a kernel of truth that inspired the story.

Writer-director (and star) Josh Stewart was inspired by actual events that he experienced to write “The Hunted” (2013). I’ll come back to this story at the end of the review, but here’s the premise of the movie: Jake (Josh Stewart) is trying to launch a hunting reality TV show, so he travels to the woods of West Virginia with his camera man (Ronnie Gene Blevins) and tries to bag a large buck that’s been eluding hunters. Jake’s plan is to shoot a decent proof-of-concept, pilot episode that he hopes to sell to investors and a network.

But the two TV hosts become increasingly concerned when they keep hearing blood-curdling (and I mean blood-curdling) screams in the darkness of the woods. Is it an injured bobcat? Or is it a wailing ghost woman?

So, what you have here is a Found Footage film that’s in the vein of “The Blair Witch Project” (1999), but even better for my money. (Yes, co-directors Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick created a historically significant Horror film. Even Roger Ebert listed “The Blair Witch Project” among his “10 Most Influential Films of the Century”!) So, I’m not trying to take anything away from “The Blair Witch Project,” especially since it probably informed “The Hunted.” But 14 years later, we have a film that works even better to me. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Intruder (2019)

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By Jay of the Dead

Written Movie Review: The Intruder

I know, I know. So much for principles. I caved and saw “The Intruder” (2019), that crazy Dennis Quaid film which I was publicly boycotting seeing in the theater because its marketing department carelessly revealed story beats from all three acts in the trailer. I won’t start ranting about that again, but I knew that trailer depicted the entire film in microcosm, and after seeing it, I was right. Sure enough, the trailer depicts all three acts, so there are very few surprises.

Many if not most modern-day narrative films are divided up into three acts. For “The Intruder,” the act breaks are so distinctive that the film changes genres with each act: The first act is a Drama. The second act becomes a Thriller. And the third act descends into Horror. Really, it’s a very natural progression because “Drama Is Conflict.” And if you escalate and intensify that conflict until it devolves into violence and death, then the tone changes and it becomes Horror. Therefore, my genre classification for “The Intruder” is Drama / Thriller / Horror, in descending order.

Here’s the Premise: Scott and Annie want to move out of the city and find a nice home where they can start a family. Dennis Quaid plays Charlie, a seller who just wants to make sure his beloved home is purchased by a good family. So, the couple buys Charlie’s house, but the only problem is, Charlie doesn’t seem to want to let it go. Continue reading →

Considering Horror Cinema Ep. 006: Taken Children – The Prodigy (2019), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), The Head Hunter (2019)

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Ep. 006: Taken Children

Thanks to a very generous donation by Sean Smith and an inspiring voicemail from Greg “The Gray Man” Bensch, here is an impromptu BONUS episode of Considering Horror Cinema. I am your late-night Horror host, Jay of the Dead, and I have three, brand-new 2019 Horror movies to review for you. Coincidentally, all three films share a common theme of “Taken Children.” That wasn’t planned. It just happened.

During Episode 006, I discuss a notable film that’s a must-see Horror flick this year called The Head Hunter (2019). And I bring you reviews of the wide theater releases, The Prodigy (2019) and The Curse of La Llorona (2019).

For those who join me to consider some Horror cinema, I delve into a few important distinctions. During these reviews I explore the creation of monsters. I also compare and contrast the monstrous motivations of Pamela Voorhees versus those of La Llorona (and why the latter is a problematic character). We’ll also listen to The Gray Man’s voicemail and talk about some 1980s Horror VHS box art. If you dig Horror film criticism, I hope you’ll join me! Thanks for listening. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

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Written Horror Movie Review: The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

By Jay of the Dead

Note: If you’d prefer to listen rather than read, here is my audio podcast review. (It starts around the 22-minute mark.)

Before I discuss “The Curse of La Llorona” (2019), I would like to begin this review with a preface about grief-stricken mothers and drowned children. Uplifting, I know. (Oh, and incidentally, for those who don’t speak Spanish, it’s pronounced “La Yo-Roh-Na.”)

Most monsters don’t start out monstrous. They are made monstrous by some terrible experience that happens to them or someone they love. The saddest love songs are always “somebody done somebody wrong” songs. Horror movies are built the same way: Somebody done somebody wrong… Just as vegetation grows out of nutrient-rich volcanic soil, the most potent Horror seems to grow from the fertile aftermath of deep sorrow or deep rage, usually both.

Spoilers for the original “Friday the 13th” (1980) ahead:

All Horror fans know that the slasher killer in the first “Friday the 13th” movie is revealed to be Jason’s mother, Pamela Voorhees. Presumably, she was not always a monster. She only became a monster after her little boy, Jason, drowned in Camp Crystal Lake, due to the negligence of distracted counselors who were too busy “gettin’ busy” to watch her son. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Movie Review: Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)

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By Jason Pyles

Written Movie Review: Pokémon Detective Pikachu

I can accept that “Pokémon Detective Pikachu” was not made for me. I’m older than most Pokémon hunters or whatever you call people who do such things. Therefore, I’ll confess right up front that I know nothing about this universe.

In fact, when I first heard of this film, I was very dismissive and even annoyed. But then my buddy Ryan told me to watch the trailer because I would be surprised by how “not terrible” it looks. To my shock, he was right! And the fact that Ryan Reynolds (“Deadpool”) was voicing Pikachu was another feather in this film’s cap, so to speak.

Even so, I probably would not have seen this movie. But I’m a dad, so I took my two kids and had a great time. Sure, there’s something to be said for seeing a movie when you’re in a great mood and already having a great day after some Chinese food, Wendy’s, movie shopping, and of course, Dairy Queen.

Sometimes when I read a Roger Ebert review where he seemed grouchy and incredibly dismissive, I just assume that he saw the film when he was tired or hungry or already having a terrible day. (This might not be true at all. But because I believe this, I am very mindful and careful about allowing my mood to affect my opinion of a movie.) Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Head Hunter (2019)

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By Jay of the Dead

The Head Hunter 2019

I am always impressed when filmmakers return back to the basic, fundamental roots of what makes the art of motion pictures so potent. For instance, the well-meaning duo of Danish directors Lars von Trier (“Antichrist,” “The House That Jack Built”) and Thomas Vinterberg created the stringent “Dogme 95 Manifesto” in 1995.

Don’t worry. I won’t launch into a whole big thing, but for those who don’t know: In essence, Dogme 95 dictated that the cinema should be created by using the classic components of story, theme, performance, etc., while eschewing any reliance on the “vulgarity” of special effects or any other modern filmmaking technology. In short, the point was to “get back to the basics,” the bare bones heart of filmmaking, where the director remains free to be an artist without being henpecked by studio interference.

And that odd little preface brings me to a notable 2019 Horror film called “The Head Hunter,” formerly known as “The Head.” (Side note: “The Head Hunter” is an excellent title because its meanings are multi-faceted.) In fact, this film is not just notable for 2019; I would argue that it is also notable for the 2010s decade. “The Head Hunter” was released on April 5, 2019, and it just hit Redbox on May 7. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Horror Movie Review: The Prodigy (2019)

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By Jay of the Dead

The Prodigy 2019

I have gained a little notoriety for suggesting the notion that I could handily dispatch the nefarious ankle-biters that play the “monsters” of Evil Kid Movies. My good friend, Dave “Dr. Shock” Becker, has often retorted and rebuffed my claims by arguing that evil kids catch their parents unawares, due to a presumption of innocence and harmlessness. (But I don’t care. I still watch my wily offspring with at least one suspicious eye, if not two.)

Dr. Shock’s assertion proves to be correct in “The Prodigy,” an ostensible Evil Kid Movie that was released in theaters on Feb. 8, 2019 (with a respectable, nine-week run, by the way), and then was released on video and at Redbox yesterday, May 7, 2019.

“The Prodigy” was directed by Nicholas McCarthy, a Horror director who also helmed “The Pact” (2012), “At the Devil’s Door” (2014) and the “Easter” segment of “Holidays” (2016). This film was written by Jeff Buhler, who wrote “Insanitarium” (2008), “The Midnight Meat Train” (2008), the “J Is for Jesus” segment of “ABCs of Death 2” (2014) and the most recent “Pet Sematary” (2019) remake. Continue reading →

Considering the Cinema Movie Review: Long Shot (2019)

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By Jason Pyles

The Monster Problem

All movie reviews are inevitably burdened (and occasionally blessed) with subjectivity. There is no such thing as a purely “objective” review, nor should there be.

So, I will confess up front that, while I fancy myself as a person who has a good sense of humor, I typically don’t appreciate films that are Comedies. I simply don’t find them very funny. And perhaps part of the issue is that I prefer films that are dark, violent, crime-infested and troubling.

This same weekend, “The Intruder” (2019), was released in theaters, starring Dennis Quaid, Meagan Good and Michael Ealy. That film appears to be a Horror film, or at the very least, a Thriller, but I “boycotted” supporting that film in the theater due to its egregiously, three-act-revealing trailer.

Therefore, I opted to see “Long Shot” Saturday night, a Comedy starring Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen. “Long Shot” was directed by Jonathan Levin, who also directed “Snatched” (the Amy Schumer / Goldie Hawn trainwreck). As ominous as that seems, I still had hope because Jonathan Levin wrote “Warm Bodies” and “The Wackness.” But most of all, I had faith in Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen. Continue reading →